Despite how much I respected my husband, I also was judging him for everything, from his choice in socks to the way he was making decisions in our business. I knew I needed to try something different to break the pattern of judgment I felt toward him.

In my Constellation, I became connected to the judgment my parents had towards each other in their twenty-two years of marriage and in the twenty-five years since they divorced. I felt the pain of disapproval in their marriage and how I had carried that into our relationship.

I could sense the Soul Agreements I had with my parents and slowly turned to face the Representative for my husband. I said, “I have judged you. I want to find a new way of being with you now.” I bowed to him, touching my forehead to his.

I no longer feel a burning desire to tell him what he should wear or the constant need to second-guess his business decisions. In accepting my judgments they have softened and some have even faded. This has allowed me to see my husband more clearly and to connect with him more deeply.
– Kelly

When I was eighteen months old, my five-week-old brother, Jeff, died of SIDS, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. His death left me with a fear that I would lose anyone I love and grew close to. This fear ran my relationship with my brother Kevin, born two years after Jeff’s death.

Even though I often felt like a “mother” to Kevin, he and I often could not be in the same room with each other for more than five minutes without arguing about something. In trying to curb my fear of losing him, I ended up distancing myself from him. That is, until I did my Constellation about our relationship.

Seeing my Constellation set up was heartbreaking. The feeling of loss was palpable, especially when I looked at the representative of Jeff.

As the Representatives for my family began to stand, I became aware of how deeply I loved them. I felt my loss even more. I knew I had to acknowledge my deep feeling of loss for Jeff. Until I could do this, I would be afraid of fully loving Kevin and taking him in. Then, I realized I do have a brother who is very much present in my life. Standing before the Representative of Kevin, I began to sob. As we held each other, I surrendered and felt genuine love for him. This ‘sibling love’ was nothing like I had ever felt before. It was the depth of our Souls connecting.

This was the turning point of our relationship. For the first time there was no fear, no pressure, and no more feeling alone. I had my brothers with me.
– Michaelene

The person who was the Representative for my father and I began, standing maybe twelve to fifteen feet apart, just looking at each other. Not saying anything, the Representative for my father looked into my eyes with such love, the ice that had enveloped my heart for so many years started to melt, and my tears began to flow. I slowly stepped toward my ‘father,’ and the closer I got the more the emotions I had never allowed myself to feel started coming up. I said, ‘You are my father, and I am your son.’ My ‘father’ simply held me, ‘I love you, Daddy,’ was all I could say. The years, decades, really, of denial, sadness, and self-hatred drained away. It was the first time in seventy-one years that I allowed myself to feel love for my father.
– Richard